isnt anything
I keep thinking about the way that im using this blog, as if there is even a way to use a blog and all i do isnt talk anyways, but like. i miss twitter. Or its just that im dumping out my thoughts here and i have so many all the time! there is value in moderation though. and social media is really fucking bad for me because of the whole audience thing. I looked through both my notebook and my notes app and was able to discern the nature of what i was writing and how it was really just for me, sort of in the vent way and it wasnt made for other people. this is also not Made for other people but im still presenting it, like the possibility of someone reading this is at least making me aware of what's going on? idk. i see the organization of peoples' tumblrs and twt and cant help but compare myself to them. Like this obsessive need to categorize everything incl my own thoughts comes through even more when i see a means for it to be done but i'm sticking to my cleanse! everyone's different anyways and i've barely lived my life. Im comparing myself to someone who writes for REAL. has it under control or at the very least appears to. come on man... this is the blog of someone in plain suffering. A temporary existence that i hope actually ends? not my life, or well yes my life, but in the future i hope i will look back and think not my life but just this part!